Part Ninety Five
Meet the Ratman!
The adventurers left the room with the pool and went
back to the skeleton room and then went into the next hallway that
went west that was just north of the one that was just north of the
one that led to the pillar room. They came to another huge cavern. A
row of bars blocked their access from moving further north in the
room. A large barred door was set in the bars. Behind the bars was a
man like a rat. Or a rat like a man. It was a man that looked like a
rat. So it was man-sized. But it had a rat head and tail. It had
weapons and armor and stuff too. Another wall of bars was behind the
"Have you seen a Cyclops?" asked Turf
politely of the caged rat.
"Squeak hiss froth," replied Mister Ratman.
"What did he say, Harry?" hoped Turf.
"I don't know Ratenese," declared Harry
who didn't take that class in Magick Guy School because those
classes all started at seven in the morning.
"Hey, Ratman. You worship The Bad God?" asked
Rocko who should have guessed the Ratman worshiped the Rat God. Duh!
"Because you should," testified Rocko.
spoke Turf as if speaking slower was a language understood by
everyone and not just retards and deaf people. And then the door
swung open! "Uh oh."
"Let's do some convertin', boys!" gayly
declared Rocko. I know convertin' is sexual because I've converted
it with lots of girls.
The Ratman rushed from the cage and attacked!
"Corky's slow," teased Rocko.
"Don't tease him," anti-teased Turf.
"In the name of The Bad God," began Rocko
as the Ratman got all up in his face with his pointy teeth and
"Har har har," consoled Turf.
"I guess he likes The Ugly God," wronged
Harry who really should have known the Ratman worshiped the Rat God.
The rat smacked Rocko upside his head with his
sword. "...you shall be saved," finished Rocko as his bell
was wrung. Or wranged. Or rung or ranged too.
"Bwa ha ha ha," helped Turf. "Did he
The Ratman's sword bounced off of the Holy Plate
because the Ratman wasn't destined to kill Rocko.
"Holy armour, Ratman," spaked Harry.
Meanwhile, Dade was at the end of the boner hall looking at a large
set of double doors with six locks of different colors.
"This is a neat door, isn't it?" he said
to nobody since they were all busy trying to guess the Ratman's
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