Part One
The Heroes Meet Turf, a young and up and coming
Hero, entered the Hall of Heroes for Hire in the Simplagul capitol
city of Easy Breezy hoping to find a wizard that would give him a
Virgin (since he'd had no luck finding Virgins down on the Cabbage
Farm where he grew up dreaming he was a Hero and not a loser).
Butt-kissing (both literally and metaphorically) Buster, an up and
coming Singing Guy Who Writes Stories Guy (who had yet to sing or
write any stories about anything except maybe that time he saw his
sister naked), also entered the Hall of Heroes for Hire. But he
wasn't looking for a wizard or a virgin unless they had what he was
really looking for which was life experiences to make his stories have more
meaning than a guilty boner. Sneaky Guy Dade Thraid, an up and
coming dead guy, was also here at the Hall of Heroes for Hire to
find something to steal and some guys to help watch his back while
he steals from them. LEGObrick, an up and coming disappearing Magick
Guy, also was here instead of playing Starcraft like he really
wanted to be. "Hey, I'm Buster," blurted
out Buster. "Wanna hear a song?" "What
brings you to the Hall of Heroes for Hire," ignored Dade Thraid
(which Buster would get used to very quickly). "Greetings m'lords and
ladies," greeted LEGObrick, mistaking Buster for a lady and the
rest of them for lords. Turf, being a Hero, decided
to not let Buster hang on his song question and replied heroically,
"No." "I'm looking for dragons and
virgins," expatriated Turf, secretly hoping he never found a
dragon since it would kill him and secretly hoping he never found a
virgin because he wouldn't know what to do with one. "Oh,"
cried Buster, disappointed that no one wanted to hear a song but
really glad because the only song he'd ever written to this point
was about his younger sister's naked boobies and how he did that
thing he was really guilty about that involved his right hand,
mostly. "I'm here to learn the art of magick!"
shouted LEGObrick, the Magick Guy. "Hey, I got a
song to sing if you want to hear," drunkenly drunked Buster
after quickly drinking twenty ales so that he wouldn't feel bad
about his sister's boobies song. "No,"
repeated Turf, realizing, as a Hero should, that this Singing Guy was
holding a Ukulele and nobody wanted to hear a song played on a
Ukulele. "I am here for fame and glory but
mainly for Goldoons," whispered the Sneaky Guy Dade Thraid. Too
bad he was in the Hall of Heroes for Hire in Simplagul since
Simplagul was mainly known for everybody in it not having any
Goldoons at all. II.
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