Part Sixty Nine
Turf Has One Goldoon
"I will use yet another Goldoon to try to open
the door," lied Dade.
"Was it? Should that be my catch phrase?"
excited Corky about his zingy zing.
"No," deadpanned Turf. "It needs to
make me look better than I already am."
"When we used to run through signs and walls
and stuff," explained Harry but nobody was interested anymore
because Corky zinged him so well. "What we need is a good
sidekick like Wedge," said Harry meanly because he was bitter
that Corky had burned him so well (burn is a cinnamon for zing).
"Dang, I am going to run out if I keep doing
this," said Dade as he pretended to use up Goldoons every time
he pretended to pick the lock that he couldn't pick because his
skills weren't good enough yet. "Dang it. Hey, Harry. Figure
out the scale thingy."
"Yeah, you're smart," postulated Corky.
"Sheesh," sighed the voice.
"Ah. Okay. Upon further review," two
thumbs upped Harry, "I see that putting a coin in the scale to
open the door will work because that's what I said in the first
place." Harry was a master of philosophickal logick!
"Psst, Harry. What do you think those two are
doing alone in the other room?" wondered Dade about Rocko and
Buster who were mysteriously being alone in the other room together
during all of the high dramatic action.
"Shhh. Here he is," pleaded Harry as they
re-entered the room with the scale and Buster and Rocko doing
exciting things. "I have said the magick chant. Now place the
coin upon the scale."
"I don't have one," whined Corky.
"How about this catch phrase: You're going AFK, Buddy!"
"No," guidance provided Turf.
"It's pretty good but I think you have better
in you," helped Harry considerably showing that Roller Playing
can be done in a positive and well-mannered light and you don't have
to call the other person gay or retarded every sentence. Hopefully
that doesn't make the story drag on boringly here!
"Corky, it's great as long as you just use your
inside voice," mothered Dade smotheringly.
"Okay, I'll keep working on it. I like your
owl," perforated Corky.
"Thanks," bricked Harry. "Hedwig, say
hello to Corky." Hedwig hooted. Did you think it was going to
talk?! It's just an owl like mentioned earlier!
"Put your stupid coin on the scale already,
Hero!" impatiented the voice.
"Yes, I have prepared the scales,"
prepared Harry like the best of the best Magick Guys who pretend
they make everything work by doing magick chants and doing hot,
half-naked assistants too (which Harry doesn't have yet but will
probably have two or three in the movie).
"Will you give it back?" selfished the
"I wonder if you can open the Dum O'door,"
punished Dade wonderingly and then laughed.
Corky put his trading card on the scale just as Turf
reluctantly put his last Goldoon on the scale. The scale moved
"Take the card off!" panicked Harry.
"It's not going to weigh properly!" Corky removed the card
but he took his time and did it slowly because he didn't want
everyone thinking Harry was the boss of him.
"Put my Goldoon on too Dade," cried out
Corky thinking that somehow the Goldoon was still his. Possession is
a whole lot of ownership is what Corky didn't seem to know.
"But I used it to try to open the door,"
more lied Dade. Turf, like a monkey, pushed the scale down with his
hand. But the door didn't open yet. They knew this because Dade went
to check and then he yelled, "Door is still closed," from
the other cavern. Harry wandered back to the pool and said,
"What wisdom do you have for me, Mr. Fish?" but the fish
only said "blurble glurgle blurble blurb." Actually, the
fish said something very witty and intelligent but Harry couldn't
Speak With Fishes so he only heard the bubbling stuff.
70. Turf Acts Like A Monkey
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