SHOOT OUT IN THE OLD WEST
By Grunion Guy
pardner," said the stranger who had just ridden into town on
his trusty horse with his trusty gun around his western waist from
out of the sun and the dust and had just entered the saloon right
after the whole entering town thing and was at the bar saying,
do ya want, stranger?" asked the suspicious bartender with the
gray mustache and gray hair who squinted a lot at the stranger with
the gun. The stranger looked like he was really good with the gun.
He may have even killed a few people with it. Or the bullets that
come out of it, anyway.
have a shot of beer, pardner," said the lanky stranger with the
white hat. He also had white clothes on. And his gun had a white
handle. I would say it said 'Greased Lightning' on the gun but
Greased might think I was talking about him so instead it says
'Really Fast' on the handle. It had six bullets in it because he
hadn't fired any yet.
be a couple of dollars, stranger," said the bartender hoping
for a pretty good tip. He also hoped that there wouldn't be a shoot
out like there usually is in places like this. He poured the beer in
the shot glass. The stranger downed the beer in a quick gulp and
didn't cough or anything. The bartender was impressed. This man must
have drunk before a lot.
are a quarter," said the bartender, not realizing how good for
business free refills would be. Taco Bell wasn't invented yet. I
stranger paid his quarter and the bartender poured another shot of
beer and the stranger drank down the beer in a quick gulp. The
bartender wasn't as impressed as he had been the first time since he
had seen it before.
think I'll play poker, pardner," said the good guy. He went to
the table with the guys playing cards and sat down at the empty
chair. "Deal with me, pardner," he said bluffly.
will beat this guy easy," said the mexican guy in a thick
mexican accent. He called him gringo too.
will see about that, pardner." The stranger kicked his feet on
the table and tipped his hat over his eyes.
gringo," said all four cowboys playing poker. One was mexican.
The others were just regular cowboys. They gasped cause a cowboy
dressed all in black came walking into the saloon. It was Black Bad
Cowboy, the evilest man in the west!
hear there is a stranger in town and I must show him how I run this
town by keeping everybody in fear of my fast guns and faster
bullets, jackals," boasted the mean cowboy in black who killed
lots of people all the time just to show that he could shoot his gun
better than they could. Better than they could shoot their own guns,
that is. He never let anybody touch his gun.
would be me, pardner," drawled the good cowboy.
not your pardner, jackal. Now we must go outside and fight. But we
must wait until tomorrow because it is one thirty five and we can
only shoot each other at noon, jackal," scowled the evil man in
black. His gun was loaded with only three bullets because he had
already killed three people.
day on the way to the shoot out at noon with the good guy, the bad
guy killed a stray dog and a small boy and a minister, just to show
how evil he was and to scare some more people too. So he saw the guy
in white standing with the sun at his back. It was noon. The fight
would start any second now.
pardner," said the good cowboy who still hadn't shot anything.
love you," said the gorgeous virgin prostitute who would later
marry the good guy after he won the shoot out.
will draw, jackal, since I am evil and would shoot you in the back
if I had come the other way, jackal," scowled the bad cowboy
who drew his black gun. His gun clicked and nothing happened!
Remember? He only had three bullets and he used them! So the good
guy said, after flinching and covering his face but in a heroic
manner that didn't make the prostitute think he wasn't a real man,
"I have you now, pardner." He drew his gun and shot the
bad cowboy six times until he was dead. "I am the greatest shot
ever and fast too," he said and said pardner too. The mexican
said, "What a gringo!" and ran off to steal the good guy's
horse. But the good guy didn't care cause he was gonna settle down
here with the virgin prostitute and live happily ever after. He
kissed her and reloaded his gun cause that was the smart thing to