By Grunion Guy

It was a really dark night. It was storming. It was a dark and stormy night. Not a star was in the sky because clouds were blocking them out. Well, they were in the sky but they couldn't be seen because there were so many clouds. Lightning thundered across the sky. Thunder lightninged to the ground. It was really scary. It was the type of night that scary things happened.

Pete the hero had traveled many miles to get here in the storm. He was in Transylvania. Transylvania is known to be a really scary place. Pete wasn't scared. Pete was brave. He had come to Transylvania for a vacation. He didn't know that he would end up saving people's lives but he would. That's why Pete is in the story.

Pete pitched his tent at the bottom of a really scary dark hill with a really scary house on the top that could only be seen when the lightning flashed. Pete was camping. He was camping in Transylvania because he thought it would be fun. But it wouldn't. It would be scary. So he finally set up his tent when he heard a scary hooting noise, like an owl. Pete knew it was an owl, so he wasn't scared. He was brave. He cooked some beans and went to sleep in the tent that he had pitched so that he could sleep in it.

Later in the night, Pete was awakened by a really scary scream. Someone is in trouble, thought Pete. But Pete was on vacation, so he went back to sleep.

CHAPTER TWO (Chapter One was called Pete the Hero)
The Scary Monster

"I feel like killing innocent people tonight!" shouted the really ugly and very scary looking man who was an axe murderer and lived at the top of the scary hill that Pete was camping by inside the scary house. His voice was loud and scary. He had a sharp axe. It had blood on it because he had killed people before. He was a mean Transylvanian who liked to kill people with his axe. He was going to kill people with his axe tonight.

"I will go into town and murder a very pretty virgin. It has to be a virgin because that would seem more evil than if it was just anybody. Maybe I'll kill an old man and an infant too. That would be very evil and cruel," he soliliquied. So he picked up his axe which he had set down while he was talking so that he could gesture with his grotesque (or gross if that is spelled wrong) hands. He left to kill a virgin. And maybe an old man or an infant too.

The Innocent Virgin Victim

"I'm tired," said the pretty virgin girl. She was pretty. She was a pretty virgin. She was a virgin because she had never did it with anybody. But that was because she hadn't met Pete yet. Pete was good looking and had did it with many girls. He liked doing it with pretty girls. The pretty virgin girl was named Virginia. She went to her bedroom and closed the door. She opened the window and raised the blinds. She took off her shirt in front of the window because she had to change into her pajamas (Like in the movies, hint, hint). She had pretty breasts. They were big and perky. She took off her pants. She had a nice butt. She stood in front of the window in her underwear and put her hand over her mouth. "Oh, I hope no bad men are peeking at me while I change. That wouldn't be nice." She put on her pajamas and got into bed. She went to sleep. She woke up screaming because she had a bad dream. That was the scream that Pete had heard. It was a red herring but Pete didn't investigate so it didn't matter anyway. The virgin whose name was Virginia went to sleep.

Pete Can't Sleep

Pete tossed. Pete turned. Pete tossed and turned. Pete couldn't go to sleep. He got up and decided to go into the village that he had passed on the way to his campsite to find an all night fast food restaurant. He took his wallet and put on his boots. He headed into town to get something to eat. I mean village.

Virginia Can't Sleep

Virginia tossed. Virginia turned. Virginia tossed and turned. Virginia couldn't go to sleep. She got up and decided to take a walk around her village. She thought she would be safe in her village because there were nice people in her village, even though it was in Transylvania. She left her house to take a walk. It wasn't storming anymore.

A Scary Part

The evil man with the axe hid behind a tree. He watched as Virginia walked across the road. He polished his axe with his hand evilly. He could not wait to chop up the virgin. He could tell she was a virgin because she was so pretty. She was in her pajamas.

Virginia didn't know she was being watched. She was not scared, even though she lived in Transylvania. She heard a twig snap behind a tree. She jumped and screamed. She looked but saw nothing behind the tree. She sighed with relief. She turned around and almost walked right into the evil man with an axe. "Ahhhhhhhh," she screamed really loud. "Help me," she cried because she could tell the man was evil. She was also scared of his axe.

"I'm going to kill you," he said.

"No you're not," said Pete. Pete had come to the rescue, even though he was on vacation. "I'm going to save this virgin from you killing her because I am the hero."

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am!"

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am!"

"You are not because I'm going to kill her first!" He swung at her with his scary axe.

Pete kicked him in the groin and he fell down. "Oww," he moaned in pain.

"My hero," said Virginia and they did it. The scary man moaned in pain. Pete and Virginia moaned in pleasure.

When Pete and Virginia were done, they told each other their names. "Now I will take the scary axe man away to the police." But he was gone. He snuck away while they did it. "Oh well," said Pete, "at least I scored a virgin."

"Yeah," said Virginia and they walked away to get married.

The Cliffhanger (sequel) Ending

Pete and Virginia got married. At the wedding, they heard an evil laugh come down from the scary house on the scary mountain. They got the chills. They turned and walked away. The preacher cackled madly.


Copyright 2006 NA!P