Part Fourteen
Poo Boy

Lola began to write down everybody's name on the Cyclops contract when a frantic young boy covered in mud and poo ran in screaming.

"So, Corky, you been laid yet?" Rocko unappropriately came on to him. Except he's a Holy Man, so it was probably pretty appropriate.

"I lay down every night, sir," explained Corky.

Dade and Turf stepped away from the poo-covered boy as Buster walked up to him and asked, "Why are you so disgusting looking?"

"Hey Turf! Your boyfriend's here!" cracked himself-upped Rocko.

"I live on a farm and rats are killing all of our Cabbages!" plotted the poo boy.

"Hey Hero! We should go kill some rats and write a song about it!" cowardlied Buster who was afraid of real life experiences like being killed by a Cyclops.

"Hmm," thought The Hero. Or just muttered it pretending to be thinking. Which was more likely.

"Um, no! You can't!" shouted Lola shaking the contract at the Fantasyers. "You already signed up for this mission!"

"Is it on the way to the Cyclops?" wondered Turf.

"Rats and Kobolds have a cabbage thing," theorized Dade.

"I'm sure it isn't," nodded Lola sagely.

"Listen to The Hero. He's logickal," said Buster, obviously paying no attention.

"What Cyclops?" asked the boy covered in poo and rat bites.

"The one that is going to kill those two," explained Dade not really explaining anything at all to the boy.

"The one with one eye," reasoned Turf having found out that the Cyclops had only one eye from Buster's earlier song.

"My farm is just outside the city walls," argued the poo boy. "By a cave."

"I say screw the rules and let's kill rats," blasphemed Rocko. Maybe.

"Come on, The Hero! Let's go! Oh! The Kobolds are in a cave," obviously stated Buster. "I bet we can get the trifecta!"

"Buster's had too much mead," noticed Rocko although he could have said that any time anywhere and he probably would have been correct. It's called probability!

"Come on, Hero. You can't not fight the Cyclops now. Or the Kobolds. Would you rather fight the Kobolds?" begged Lola who seemed to really want to get The Hero into a cave.

"We can do the boy's job for free as we take the scenic route to the Cyclops," decided Turf leaderly.

"I can downgrade your mission if you want to fight the Kobolds," pleaded Lola.

"I am speaking but no one listens," explained Dade to nobody. He must not have noticed how nobody was actually listening to anybody and they were all just talking to hear themselves speak and laugh at their own jokes about how gay the other ones were.

"Yeah, Turf, would you rather fight the Kobolds?" wimped out Rocko too.

"If I can chronicle it in a song, deal!" whored Buster.

"MY FARM!" complained the poo boy.

"I like the Kobold/Rat job," fourth timed Dade. Or fifth timed, even.

"Duh," duhhed Rocko who showed that he actually had been listening to Dade seeing as how he noticed Dade kept saying that.

"My dad might be dying!" debated poo boy hotly (not sexily but passionately. Not sexy passionately but hotly passionately).

"Your dad's an ass, kid," observed Rocko who must have known him from semenary school.

"Sob!" sobbed the poo boy.

"Let's kill the friggin' anything at this point," hack and slashed Rocko impatiently.

"Hero, we should go with delaying. After all, it is just a bunch of rats," said Buster in a way that was supposed to explain or argue for some point or another.

"Let's help the boy," finally decided Turf decisively. For the moment.

"We should help this boy's dad's cabbages!" agreed Corky after hearing what The Hero decided.

"I will help you, boy," claimed Buster although nobody was really sure what kind of help that was going to be.

"If by help you mean pillage his farm, deal!" underhanded Rocko in a Bad God sort of way.

"Chin up Charlie. I'm on the job," claimed Turf as he put his hands on his hips. Dade sighed. Repeatedly.


XIV 1/2. Who the Hell is Corky?

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