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GRUNION GUY ON EMERALD ISLE!
By Grunion Guy
A text adventure game with pictures! That seems like a pretty good game! But it isn't! They really had low standards
back in 1985 in England. How come people paid money for this crap? They advertise the game as having hundreds of
locations, as if that's how you're going to get your money's worth. But the locations all use variations of the same
pictures. If you're at the beach, you get the beach picture but with different colors thrown in to fool you. And if
you're in the desert, you get the desert pictures! And who needs hundreds of locations when they don't add anything
to the game except make you wander through fifteen different rooms before you get to one that advances the plot. And
when I say plot, I don't mean plot like you'd think of plot, as in "That Grunion Guy writes stories with
magnificent plots where lots of action occurs! Action like sexing virgins and stabbing bad guys in the throat!" No,
I mean plot like in 1985 text adventure game plots where you wander around a bunch of boring locations until you
find a treasure. And then you score points! And eventually, if you score enough points, you win!
Well, here's my stupid walkthrough. You owe me for playing this horrible game until I won! Seriously!
I almost gave up too! But I didn't. I stuck with it. I think that
proves I'm a dumb jerk who has nothing better to do but I like to
pretend it means I'm a man of sophistication and sexual conquests in
the near double digits!
In Emerald Isle, I'm an aircraft pilot who
is supposed to be delivering urgent documents around the Caribbean. Ha! 'Documents'! Riiiiiight! Suddenly, fierce
winds seize my plane over the infamous Bermuda Triangle! I escape with my life at the last moment! I don't
know what that means! Did the plane blow up and I just barely got out? Or did I jump from the plane just before it
crashed? Or did a serial killer leap out of the storage bin and I parachuted from the plane just before he slashed
my throat? Probably the last one because I ended up parachuting down to an island below.
"Aha! I recognize that island," I screamed at myself. "It's Emerald Isle! I saw an old map once and I committed the
shape of this island to my memory. It's very distinctive. But not only did I see a map. I also heard some rumors about
this lonely, rarely visited atoll! This bar wench I used to stalk said that only one person can leave the island
and that person is the ruler of the land. And by stalk, I meant bang!" I stopped yelling at myself and concentrated on
my parachuting. I crashed into the trees and began my adventure!
UNDO PARACHUTE (This has got to be one of the worst opening moments in text adventure game history. If you're
stubborn enough, you might have eventually hit on the word 'undo' to get out of your parachute. Or maybe you're one
of those jerky nerd types who are snorting at me right now and saying, "Beep beep beep! You had trouble with this
puzzle? Snort! Celibate!" Well, yeah! I had trouble! And do you think someone else out there has put a walkthrough
of this dumb game on the internet yet? NO! At least not one that
emails itself to me, anyway! So I had to come up with this solution all by myself! Don't thank me! You
really won't thank me when you play the rest of the game! You should have just quit after trying 'Release Parachute' or
'Remove Parachute' or 'Down' or 'jump' or 'cut parachute' or whatever! Level 9, you suck!)
UP
GET PARACHUTE (Don't forget your parachute! Remember, in all of these games, take everything you find. Sure,
sometimes an object will be a red herring and just take up some of your inventory. But that was another thing these
geniuses who made these games thought was fun. Managing your inventory! Just give me a big duffel bag and let me carry
all of my crap, okay?! No more mazes. No more guess the verbs. And no more inventory management!)
DOWN
WEST (Oh! But guess what? You get to start in a maze right in the beginning of this game! Luckily, it's not
much of a maze. Unluckily, it's not even close to being the last maze in the game. The dumb maze is random. Unless it isn't. Anyway, just keep
going west until you find the area with the silver coin. I always seem to find the coin by going west a lot! So maybe it isn't random! Maybe I'm just dumb.)
This is where you find the coin. Very different from where you were stuck in the parachute.
GET COIN
EAST (After getting the coin, just go east and you should end up at the slender bridge. I hope there isn't anything
else of importance in that maze because I'm tired of it already!)
EAST (Normally, that's all of the pictures from the game I would post. Really.
Except I find their mediocrity
utterly fascinating. They really don't add much to the game though. Boring!)
EAST
UP (Here's a picture with a description of the room:
See that? Were the writers even working with the artists? The only exit is down! But I'm looking at three doors right in
front of me? Plus it says I'm 'on the high clocktower'. Not in it. ON IT! It looks like I'm in a room though! Man, what a
bunch of jerks! I hate whoever made this game and the fact that they earned money for it. If you paid 6 pounds for this
thing, email me and tell me you're sorry.)
GET MANUAL
READ MANUAL (I don't know if you have to read it to win the game. Probably not. But now you know you have to build
a boat! Oh boy!)
DOWN
WEST
NORTH
GET ROBE (Examine the robe. 'Looks very u indeed...' Is this the first example of the shortened second
person pronoun? Maybe! And why 'despite being made from animal carcases'? They make it sound like fur is bad! Hippies! I'm
just glad it's not a fish scale robe. That would have been sad.)
WEAR ROBE (Notice how actions like taking things and wearing things elicit no response from the parser? Unsettling!
Please, can't someone at least acknowledge that my command was successful? These games are hard enough as it is without having
to check my inventory each time I pick something up to make sure it understood what I wanted to do!)
GET POT (Hee hee!)
SOUTH
SOUTH
It really evokes being in a palace, doesn't it?
SOUTH (Oooh! A bouncer! Such an exclusive place!)
Classickal buildings in the style of Main Street, Old Westville
EAST (Just go this way to look at the garden and the 'W' cut into the lawn. It'll mean something eventually!)
The beautiful palace garden. So uplifting!
WEST
SOUTH
What the heck is that supposed to be?
EAST
GIVE PARACHUTE (At least this puzzle is logickal. If you've examined the parachute (or just have a
basick knowledge of parachutes!) or waited a round until the seamstress complains about not having enough
material, you'll figure it out easy.)
WEST
WEST (So, just flipping the last room's picture is acceptable? Stupid lazy artists. They're as bad as
editors.)
SOUTH (Just like the seamstress room and the bell tower. A room with only one text exit but three doors in
the art!)
GET COIN
NORTH
UP
READ SIGN (Great. So a text adventure with a goal but they refuse to tell you the goal. Thanks! I bet it has
to do with collecting treasures. And probably that 'W' and the other letters I'm sure to find.)
WEST
EAST
The king's luxurious chambers!
NORTH
DROP ROBE (Inventory management can be a pain. So leave the Robe here. It's a treasure anyway! You just have
to remember to wear it whenever you leave the palace by the front entrance or the guard won't let you back in and
you'll lose the game!)
SOUTH
DOWN
A very popular Emerald Isle fixture.
WEST (A massive kitchen? With another weird crown toilet sculpture thing? I wonder if the writer expected
the artist to provide more detail and the artist was expecting the writer to provide all the detail? I guess in
the Bermuda Triangle, 'kitchen' means 'empty room with stupid crown toilet'.)
WEST (You should probably save before going any further. Just in case you get hit by a train or eaten by
a ghoul!)
DOWN
DOWN
EAST
INSERT SILVER (The machine will also take the gold coin and give you a seasonal ticket. But you need the
gold coin much later in the game. Thanks, you jerks at Level 9, for making me replay almost the entire game
because of that one!)
WEST (At this point, you'll need to WAIT until a train arrives. If the train is already here, you can
move along with the walkthrough.)
ENTER
EAST
GET PLIERS
WEST
NORTH
WEST
DROP POT (The Bermuda Triangle has inefficient spiders. And mean! If you don't help him, he'll eat you when you
try to go through his cave!)
DROP ALL (Incidentally, you can skip that last move and just drop all! This walkthrough wasn't made for
efficiency! I'm not helping anyone break any stupid video game records. Do your own nerdy Twin Galaxy work!)
SOUTH
GET LOG
NORTH
DROP LOG
WEST (Don't worry about the dark. As long as you don't spend too long in it, the
gruel won't get you.)
SOUTH
WEST
NORTHWEST
At one point, you end up on Mars! Man, now I wish I were playing the game I'm pretending
this one is.
GET NECKLACE (Examine necklace. 'Looks pretty. Seems valuable.' Aren't we the Antiques Roadshow Expert!)
SOUTHEAST
SOUTHWEST
Hmm. Seems vaguely familiar.
GET PAN
NORTHEAST
SOUTHEAST (The foothills are another maze. This game is filled with maze-like terrain. I'm pretty sure it was
just to pad the number of rooms they could advertise the game as having. People were dumb and gullible in 1985.)
The infamous Boot Hill of the tropicks!
SOUTH (Boot Hill was in the Caribbean? You could also have gone east. Your preference, I suppose!)
EAST (Oh! An 'A' hanging in mid-air. That's not weird! So, we've now found an 'A' and a 'W'. Mmmm, rootbeer.)
NORTH (At least they got the names of all these locations correct. 'Tedious', 'Endless', 'Boring', and 'Dull'.)
SOUTH
EAST
USE PAN (Maybe the kitchen was just to distract me and think the pan was for cooking. Well, I'm smarter than
that! Examine nugget. 'Looks shiney. Seems valuable.' What am I? A cat!)
SOUTH
EAST
DOWN
SOUTH (Guess what? Another maze! Of sorts. The mazes in this game are frequent but not hard to navigate. So we can
all thank Level 9 for being lazy and unimaginative.)
SOUTH
I think this picture is in every graphickal text adventure released in the 80's.
SOUTH
GET AXE (Examine axe. 'Looks sharp.' That gives me an idea!
Maybe I can chop stuff with it! Thanks for the clue, Level 9!)
WEST
WEST
WEST
NORTH (A 'T' carved on a tree-trunk. Now we've got 'W', 'A', and 'T'.)
EAST
EAST
EAST
NORTH
NORTH (And we're out of the forest for good! One maze I don't have to navigate again.)
UP
WEST
WEST
WEST
UP
EAST
NORTH
NORTH
WEST
NORTH
NORTHWEST (You might find a quicker way back through the desert yourself if you're interested. We'll be heading back
there later. But who cares, really? My way works!)
EAST
NORTH
EAST
MAKE BOAT (Even though the dumb Manual says Boat Building, you can't build the boat. You have to make the boat.
Couldn't they have implemented either verb? I'm so angry!)
TIE ANCHOR
DROP ALL (I hope nobody else on the island comes along and takes my treasure!)
ENTER CANOE
NORTH
NORTH (Don't go southeast here because you'll end up underwater and lose the boat. Maybe there's a
reason for it other than Level 9 had crappy programmers.)
NORTH
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
IN (This cave randomly makes you slip out. If that happens before you end up out of the darkness and
on to the overhanging cliff top, just continue the walkthrough back at this command (IN). It may take a lot
of tries. A LOT OF TRIES! But it'll eventually work.)
UP
UP
NORTH
WEST
WEST
GET WALLET (Mr Jones lost his wallet. Treasure all over the island. What is wrong with the careless rich
people of Emerald Isle? Or maybe they've all been killed! The only other people on this island so far are the
seamstress, the guard, the king and the ticket taker.)
EAST
EAST
IN (Most likely, you'll lose your footing and slide right out to the south end of the beach. If you don't,
just head DOWN until you're on the beach before continuing with the walkthrough.)
NORTH
ENTER CANOE
EAST
EAST
NORTH
NORTHEAST
GET LAMP
WEST
UP
GET COCONUT (Examine coconut. 'Looks golden. Seems valuable.' Really? A golden coconut? I'm wondering if this
was meant to be a puzzle. 'Hey! I found a coconut! I wonder what I should do with it?' If you never examine it,
you'd never guess it was a treasure. So you might leave it somewhere and never score the points for it by putting
it in your treasure storage area. I can't wait to play more Level 9 games! Maybe I'll eventually learn how that
basement full of troglodytick programmers thought!)
DOWN
SOUTHEAST
ENTER CANOE
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
WEST
GET TICKET
GET NUGGET
GET NECKLACE (Now one of my most favoritist parts of treasure hunting text adventures! The trip back to the
drop off point! Whee!)
EAST
SOUTH
WEST (But first! Let's earn some cash for being a good citizen!)
The police station! Or a bird house.
DROP WALLET (Ahhhhh! Where'd that cop come from?)
EAST (Now WAIT until the train gets here before continuing.)
ENTER
UP
UP
EAST
EAST
UP
NORTH
DROP NECKLACE
DROP NUGGET
DROP COCONUT (Score: 192/1000! Wow. Still have a long way to
go! A lot of this walkthrough is just going to be directions. I
know, boring!)
SOUTH
DOWN
WEST
WEST
DOWN
DOWN (WAIT until the train arrives!)
ENTER
NORTH
WEST
GET BRONZE COIN
DROP TICKET
EAST
ENTER CANOE
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
EAST
FILL LAMP (Crazy! But if you ever want the lamp to light, do this!)
Possibly the best looking bit of scenery!
EAST
GET LADDER
UP (Ignore the telescope! You don't want to look like a tourist!)
EAST (Yay! Another maze! That probably means another letter!)
SOUTHEAST
EAST
SOUTHEAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
EAST
GET MATCHBOX
SOUTHWEST
WEST
WEST ('You are on a small town high street.' Like Haight or Ashbury?)
WEST
GET BOOK
SOUTH
BUY HAMMER
NOTES (Hey! This idiot is out of stock of Level 9 games! The residents of this town must love crappy
graphickal text adventures!)
BUY SCREWDRIVERNOTES
NORTH
SOUTHWEST
BUY GRANULES
BRONZE
INSERT GRANULES (I don't know if this is a programming error or the way the game is meant to be. If you
try to insert the granules without water in the lamp, it says 'You try putting granules in the lampThe lamp is empty.'
Exactly like I typed that. If the lamp is full of water, it says, 'You try putting granules in the lampThe lamp is
lit and shines brightly.' You never need to use the matches on it. Although, the matches do come in handy for part
of the game if you can't figure out the lamp. I'm guessing it's just a syntax error that isn't spacing the two
sentences, since the lamp being rusty is probably the clue to fill it with water to make it work. I don't know. It
doesn't seem very logickal to me but I figured it out, so I guess I think like the Level 9
writers, who must have been some sort of scientists or something. Pee-yuke!)
NORTHEAST
NORTHWEST
BUY FOOD
NOTES
SOUTHEAST
NORTH
BUY PAINTING (It's a painting by the guy who did the art for
the game! So, you'll figure me if I don't actually believe it's a
'splendid' painting. Although, he makes some decent Tarot cards now
that you can find on ebay. So maybe Level 9 just wasn't paying him
enough to put any effort into it.)
NOTES
SOUTH
EAST
NORTH
EAST
GET BOATHOOK
EAST
NORTH (Let's find another letter now!)
NORTH
NORTH (Here we go! An 'L' marked out by pebbles. So we now have a 'W', 'A', 'L', and 'T'.)
NORTHWEST
WEST
WEST
WEST
DOWN
ENTER CANOE
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
WEST
DROP ALL
GET LAMP
GET HAMMER
SOUTH
EAST
UNDO PLANK (Now, I can see UNDO PARACHUTE as being a reasonable answer. Sort of. But UNDO PLANK? No. Stupid.
Of course, after the parachute thing, I can see trying UNDO here just because it was so ridiculous the first time.
Maybe that's what Level 9 was counting on. Or maybe there's another, more logickal way to remove the plank and I
happened to do it the idiotick way first? Who knows?!)
GET PLANK
WEST
NORTH
WEST (Now with a little light, we see there is a map here!) GET MAP (Examine map. 'Looks like a picture of a palm tree beside a cross.
It's quite small. Seems valuable.' So, the map leads to a treasure but is also a treasure. Tricky!)
SOUTH
WEST
SOUTHEAST
EAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
EAST
NORTH
UP
DROP PLANK (Aha! A reasonable puzzle!)
NORTH ("'Cor. Struth. Funny kinda plants for the tropicks!', you think." Really? Funny kind of language for
the tropicks too!)
EAST
NORTH
UP
EXAMINE BOULDER
DOWN
IN
GET PAPER (Examine paper. 'Looks like a tattered sketch of an ancient galleon, apparently submerged.')
OUT
SOUTH
DOWN
GET PLANK
DOWN
SOUTH
WEST
WEST
NORTH
NORTH
WEST
NORTH
NORTHWEST
EAST
NORTH
EAST
DROP ALL
GET LAMP
EAST
EAST
EAST
GET POST
EAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
SUPPORT CEILING (Another logickal puzzle. The ceiling collapses if you pass it. So, support
it! It was also a tricky part of the game for me because you need
the post again later in the game. And when I've used an item, I tend
to forget about it! So these kinds of puzzles where you have to use
something more than once always mess up my little fishy brain.)
SOUTH
GET ROPE
GET PICK
NORTH
NORTH
EAST
EAST
GET SHOVEL
DIG
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
DIG (Yay! Lots more treasure. Perhaps a trip back to the drop-off area!)
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
WEST
WEST
WEST
WEST
GET KEY
GET PAINTING
GET MAP
GET TICKET
EAST
ENTER CANOE
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
NORTHWEST
The artist proves with this picture that he's just been lazy with all the others. This one
has some of the higher quality you'd expect for 1985 computer art.
DIG
SOUTHEAST
ENTER CANOE
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH (WAIT until the train arrives before continuing.)
ENTER
UP
UP
EAST
EAST
UP
NORTH
DROP MAP
DROP OPAL
DROP DUBLOONS
DROP FIGURINE
DROP PAINTING
DROP PYRAMID (SCORE: 480/1000. Almost halfway there!)
GET ROBE
WEAR ROBE
SOUTH
DOWN
EAST
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
EAST
UP (Backtracking is so tedious! Maybe I should have spent more time making a more streamlined walkthrough.
No, this is good enough!)
WIND CLOCK
DOWN (Wow! Lots of people in one place! And they love me! Hopefully this key will get me to some more
exciting places.)
WEST
OPEN GATE
SOUTHEAST
WEST (An 'H' is floating in the water! I've now found 'W', 'A', 'L', 'T', and 'H'. Hmm. Buy a vowel?)
EAST
OPEN GATE
NORTHWEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
WEST
UP
NORTH
DROP ROBE
SOUTH
DOWN
WEST
WEST
DOWN
DOWN (WAIT until the train arrives!)
ENTER TRAIN
NORTH
ENTER CANOE
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
EAST
EAST
UP
EAST
SOUTHEAST
EAST
I just thought it was time for another picture!
UP
UP
IN (You'll probably lose your footing and fall to the bottom here. That's what you want. If you don't fall, just
go DOWN.)
DIG
UP (Again, you'll have to deal with a random chance of falling. Just keep going UP, UP, OUT until you're successful.
If you fall, don't go OUT! Just go OUT after two successful UPs!
Sheesh! And it might take a really long time for you to get out.
Whoever thought it was a great idea for such a random area in a game
that is supposed to be about using your brain is mean.)
UP
OUT
DOWN
DOWN
NORTH
NORTH
EXAMINE SCARECROW (Sure, I can believe a scarecrow in the middle of the desert! Not weird at all! Okay, maybe
it was once fertile farmland. Stop being such a nerd about it!)
WEAR OVERALLS
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
WEST
DOWN
ENTER CANOE
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
This is what ocean travel looks like!
SOUTH
SOUTH
WEST
GET FOOD
GET GOLD
DROP SMALL KEY
DROP PICK
DROP SHOVEL
EAST
SOUTH (WAIT until the train arrives!)
ENTER
OPEN GATE
WEST
NORTH
I don't even know where this is. What is this? A hallway?
NORTH
EAST
GET ARMBAND WEAR ARMBAND (Hmm. An armband? It's reflective and woven from glass fibres. Weird.
Is it for safety? I don't know! Also, WAIT
until the next train arrives!)
ENTER
NORTH
GIVE FOOD
NORTH
This village loves yellow.
NORTH
GIVE GOLD
SOUTH
SOUTH
EAST
EAST
EAST
EAST
SOUTH
EAST
GET BOWL
WEST
WEST
WEST
NORTH
WEST
WEST
SOUTH (WAIT for the next train!)
ENTER
WEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
OPEN GATE
EAST (WAIT for the next train!)
ENTER
NORTH
WEST
DROP TICKET
DROP KEY
DROP DIAMONDS
DROP ROPE
GET PLIERS
GET SCREWDRIVER
EAST
ENTER CANOE
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
IN (This is that stupid cave with the random chance of slipping. So just keep going IN, UP, UP, until
you get to the top of the cliff.)
UP
UP
WEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
EAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
EAST
EXAMINE CONTROLS
UNDO PLATE
ATTACH WIRES
WEST
NORTH (Can you tell the game has really broken my spirit? I
can hardly think of any more scathing remarks for the Level 9
staff.)
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
WEST
SOUTH
EAST
SOUTH
EAST
EAST
IN
DOWN
GET BROOCH
UP
OUT
WEST
WEST
NORTH
WEST
NORTH
EAST
EAST
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
EAST
IN (You should fall all the way to the beach. If you don't, just keep going DOWN until you're
on the beach.)
NORTH
ENTER CANOE
EAST
EAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
WEST
DROP ALL
EAST
ENTER CANOE
NORTH
GET ANCHOR
WEIGH ANCHOR
DOWN
GET ALL (There must be treasure here, right? Even if I can't see it? Check inventory and, yep! A sword
and a sapphire! Nice!)
UP
GET ANCHOR
SOUTH
DROP ANCHOR
WEST
DROP ALL
GET LAMP
GET LADDER
GET ROPE
WEST
SOUTH
WEST
SOUTHEAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
WEST
WEST
DOWN
EXTEND LADDER
DROP LADDER
ACROSS
GET CHEST
WEST
TIE ROPE
DOWN
EAST
NORTH
EAST
GET CORONET
WEST
SOUTH
WEST
UP
GET ROPE
EAST
ACROSS
UP
EAST
EAST
WEST
NORTH
NORTHWEST
EAST
NORTH
EAST
DROP ALL
GET TICKET
GET BROOCH
GET SAPPHIRE
GET SWORD
GET CHESTGET CORONET
GET DIAMONDS
EAST
SOUTH (WAIT for the next train!)
ENTER
UP
UP
EAST
EAST
UP
NORTH
DROP ALL
GET TICKET
SCORE (768/1000! 232 Points to Go! But where are they? Hmm....)
SOUTH
DOWN
WEST
WEST
DOWN
DOWN (WAIT for the next train!)
ENTER
NORTH
WEST
GET LAMP
GET CARD
GET SHOVEL
EAST
EAST
EAST
EAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
GET POST
NORTH
NORTH
WEST
WEST
WEST
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
WEST (I wonder what the next Level 9 game will be that I'll
play! I can't wait!)
SOUTHEAST
EAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
EAST
SOUTH
EAST
DOWN (Looks like I was wrong about being done with this forest! Stupid clear cutters. I'll stop them!)
SOUTH
WEST
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
WEST
WEST
NORTH
EXAMINE MONUMENT
INSERT POST
DOWN
PUSH CARVING
SOUTH (For a company that makes its living by publishing computer programs, they sure are
down on technology! The city is ugly and full of cars and dog poop. And now an awful room full of computers!
What a bunch of hypocrites!)
EAST
GET ROPE
WEST
INSERT CARD
SOUTH
PULL LEVER
OPEN DOOR
NORTH
NORTH
UP
SOUTH
EAST
EAST
EAST
EAST
EAST
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
UP
WEST
WEST
ACROSS
WEST
TIE LONG ROPE
DOWN
SOUTH
SOUTH
EAST
DIG
DOWN
GET RUBY
UP
WEST
NORTH
NORTH
UP
GET ROPE
EAST
ACROSS
UP
EAST
NORTH
NORTH
WEST
NORTH
NORTHWEST
EAST
NORTH
EAST
DROP SHOVEL
EAST
ENTER CANOE
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
WEST
WEST
SOUTH
IN (Back inside the slippery cave. Just keep at it and you'll get up the dumb thing. These random parts
are really horrible for text adventures. How many people tried one or two times and just figured they'd need
to find something to help them up the cave? They'd give up on the dumb adventure 10 minutes in! If they got
out of their parachute, of course.)
UP
UP
WEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
EAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
EAST
PUSH BUTTON
WEST
NORTH (Yay! Rare Gems from some corporate big wig! Fat jerk!)
SOUTH
EAST
PUSH BUTTON
WEST
NORTH
NORTH
WEST
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
EAST
IN (Hopefully you fall to the bottom. Otherwise, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!)
NORTH
ENTER CANOE
EAST
EAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
WEST
GET BOATHOOK
DROP POST
DROP CARD
DROP ARMBAND
GET ORNATE KEY
GET BOOK
EAST
SOUTH (WAIT for the train.)
ENTER
OPEN GATE
WEST
NORTH
NORTH
EAST (WAIT for the train.)
ENTER
NORTH
EAST
EAST
EAST
EAST
EAST
GET VINES
EAST
NORTH
EAST (An 'E' on the ground! Our last letter! Did I already find this? I don't know. Whatever!)
SOUTHEAST
SOUTH
EAST
EAST
DOWN
SOUTH
UP
THROW ROPE
PULL ROPE
IN (Rude runes?!)
READ RUNES
EAST
SOUTH
READ WRITING
THROW OVERALLS (Whew! I hope I don't need those overalls anymore!)
SOUTH (Oh! Here they are! Nevermind!)
GET OVERALLS
READ GRAFFITI (Riddles! Always with the riddles!)
NORTH
DROP ALL
NORTH
WEST
OUT
GET BLOCK
IN
EAST
SOUTH
SOUTH
DROP BLOCK
NORTH
GET ALL
SOUTH
WEST
SOUTH
WEST
PUSH ROOF
DOWN
GET IDOL
UP
EAST
NORTH
EAST
NORTH
NORTH
WEST
OUT
NORTH
UP
WEST
WEST
WEST
WEST
GET VINES
WEST
WEST
WEST
WEST
WEST
WEST
SOUTH (WAIT for train.)
ENTER
WEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
OPEN GATE
EAST
UP
UP
EAST
EAST
UP
NORTH
DROP GEMS
DROP RUBY
GET ROBES
WEAR ROBES
SOUTH
DOWN
EAST
NORTH
NORTH
NORTH
OPEN GATE
SOUTHEAST
UP
UP
NORTH
DROP IDOL
GET IDOL
SOUTH
DOWN
DOWN
OPEN GATE
NORTHWEST
SOUTH
SOUTH
SOUTH
WEST
UP
NORTH
DROP IDOL
DROP ROBES
DROP BAG (SCORE: 960/1000. Almost there!)
PULL CORD
WEALTH (SCORE: 1000/1000! I am a Grandmaster Adventurer, Ruler of Emerald Isle and all-round hero! I know, right?)
WEST (Winner! I'm King of Everything! I hope I earned a harem of lovely ladies too!)
THE END!
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