Part Nineteen
The First Epic Battle

"Great," wounded Turf.

"That's okay! We got our hit eater. I mean, The Hero," happily announced Rocko.

"I heard that, Healing Guy," heard Turf.

"I need a Catch Phrase! Darn it!" catch-phrased Corky improvisationally.

"Yes, you do, Corky," belittled Turf.

"You can think one up later, Corky!" bebigged Rocko. "Some Hero!"

"Ha! Lousy Hero!" bandwagoned Buster. "Papa Smurf always says...," unfinished Buster as they all charged into battle.

Rocko sloshed through the poo and mud first and pounded a rat with his mace in an exciting epicky battle sort of way. "Smasho!" he yelled for added effect and grandeur.

"Squeak!" squaked the rat.

"Take that, Rat!" poetically retaliated Rocko. "Hey, Turf, you should try this fighting thing out! It makes you heroic and stuff!"

"Don't bother our gay Hero," homophobed the secretly gay and self-hating Buster.

"Timing is everything, boys!" shouted Turf as he stood back and watched Dade rush in to attack some rats also. Dade sneakily back stabbed one and sneakily poisoned it for sneaky measure.

"Loser!" shouted Buster from the sidelines. Rocko frowned because he saw Buster getting ready to strum his ukulele for a Magick Bolt Throwing Bolt Attack! A horrendous noise issued forth from the ukulele (like what always happens when a ukulele is played) and a magickally created bolt appeared and shot off at the rat Dade had poisoned. It smashed into its thick rat hide and blood and brains spurted everywhere as the rat's head exploded into a billion pieces, like the Death Star (in the original version without the ring thing).

"You almost shot my ear off!" tantrummed Rocko who was paying more attention to making fun of Buster than to fighting the Giant Rat right in front of him. "Nice wasted attack on a rat that couldn't attack very well because it was full of poison, Buster!"

XX. Corky is Retarded & Buster is Gay

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